When you are engulfed in flames.....

YUP!
I totally stole that tile from David Sedaris!
But It really sums up the feeling that I've had for the last few weeks. As you know, I had a fire that destroyed a LOT of my work. Paintings and prints that had taken me a DECADE to create/produce.
It's put me at a real disadvantage financially, but also put a real crimp in my show season. I have 2 more shows to get through...less like a phoenix and more like a slightly charred bird with a broken wing and singed feathers....and a limp....

The fire took my art and supplies and my booth and my tent and it really felt like it had also taken my desire to paint.

Weird, I know.

I have been hustling to get enough work together to show at my upcoming shows, and now that I am down to the last 5 "sellable" fire damaged paintings....I need to get back to work.

BUT I REEEEEEEEALLY HAVEN'T WANTED TO!

I KNOW that while I paint, I am often in a very serene, almost meditative place. I am not thinking about all the crap that NEEDS to be done, I am just thinking about the colours on my brushes. That is something I am truly grateful for! So...I forced myself back to work...because sometimes you just have to force yourself to keep moving....

So...last week I went into my basement and worked on a brand new painting. Truthfully, the process was PAINFUL! It is from a drawing I did about 4 months ago....that I loved at the time....but now it feels different. Kinda like I was moving back in time, not forward.
Here is the painting I worked up:

In the end, this piece is fine.
Am I IN LOVE with it?
No.
But it has lead me to a painting on my easel right now that I like more! Yesterday I forced myself to do an hour of painting....and then 5 hours later, my husband came downstairs to ask if I was okay...I HAD LOST ALL TRACK OF TIME!! (HUZZAH!!!!) I was in the zone! This new painting has caused a lot less anxiety and stress for me....
(I'll show you it soon!)

So, it feels like my *MOJO is returning!!
*Mojo is thee "magic" that is created when I can paint JOYFULLY!

WHEW!!!

It's a great feeling that I hope keeps dragging me further and further AWAY from the fire, and into a new and exciting chapter....

I know it's a process! And once my July deadline comes and goes, I will get to really dive into the healing process and I will be able to reflect on what and HOW I want to rebuild!

UNTIL THEN....I have 2 NEW NEW NEW drawings that are ready to paint...and a tonne of work to do! Both the new paintings are slightly different - so that is exciting too!
I am EXCITED to get to work on them....
JUST WAIT for what's next!!!!
JUST WAIT!
(and thanks for reading this, friend!)​